Vanity of the Aaron

Okay, so I was thinking about the site and thought I'd just turn on the random word generator and let it make a post on my blog for me.

So I have a website, it's named after me, I talk about me. Isn't that weird? I mean I talk about other things, but it's mostly about me. Do I think other people want to read the things I write? Should I care if they do? I mean... it's like a public diary, and I write it I guess so I feel like I am getting my word out there. Sort of like a "To whom it may concern" letter. I once found a letter like that. I found a bottle in a creek near my house, (the Soquel creek), and opened it, there was a letter. It was a little crusty and damp, and very hard to read. I know I made out the words, "To whom it may concern." I think it was a girl that wrote it and it was all just about blah, blah, nothing important, but I tried for a LONG time to make out the words. In case she said something important? I'm not sure. Maybe because if she took the time to write a letter, put it in a bottle, go against Woodsy the Owl's sacred words, Give a hoot, don't pollute, and toss that bottle into the creek, watching it disappear around a rock, get stuck on a log, run up, try to push it along, not able to reach, get a stick, un-stick it, gets stuck again, etc... then doesn't that voice deserve to be heard? Maybe not. Maybe she was just littering. So every once in a while I question if it's rude to assume as much as making a site like this. Hmmm... Ponder... okay, but it's fun, so I'll keep doing it.

On to some stories.

My last girlfriend was neat. At first. Then she became less neat and less satisfied with me, it seemed, the more comfortable she got with me and the more I pampered her. I obviously didn't know how things are supposed to work. So in the end of a 2.5 year relationship she is spending all of my money, jobless for 5 months and ends up breaking up with me to go be with a guy she visited on a vacation that I paid for and wasn't able to go to myself due to work. Okay, whatever, I'm better off without her. Bad thing: Well, I gave her a lot of money when she left, mainly because I wanted her to be gone, but really she didn't earn any of it being unemployed herself for 5 months. Should I have just shoved her belongings out the door and changed the locks without a penny leaving my pockets? I don't know. I'm a big softie I guess. That's what I'm told. Good thing: She is gone. I get to decorate my living room the way I want and I don't come home to her bitching at me.

This is all old news. The crux of the story delves into the extremely mysterious, secret, unwritten entity known only as, The Guy Code as well as an apparently female concept called "projecting".

First, about projecting. So after she breaks up with me, about 4 of my close friends pipe up in support and incidentally mention that my X had at one point proposed to have sex with them. What's so odd about that? Well, about once a month I would be accused by her of being unfaithful, which of course was totally false. I didn't understand why I was being accused as it was plainly obvious that there was in fact no way I could have done the things she was accusing me of. It completely made no sense. Then another female friend of mine exclaims, "Oh, that's called projecting," as if this is some concept I should have been aware of. So, the revealed definition is that when a girl does something wrong she will often accuse her partner of doing that very thing to her because... (here is where fuzzy girl logic happens) it would relieve her of her guilt if the partner were also doing it. Or that it is a way of expressing her feelings about what she did by inverting it into an accusation. I'm still a little confused by how it works. The short and skinny is that if a future girlfriend asks me that question, the proper response should be, "No. Are you?"

Now, The Guy Code. So out of all of my friends she propositioned, as far as I know her offer was not redeemed. Then again I believe the code says that they would not tell me if they did. It also says that I won't be accusing them of lying, and it also says that I shouldn't care either way anyway because she's gone and she is the one who wronged me, not them, so as The Guy Code stands, everyone who is my friend officially stays my friend and she officially stays on my /ignore list for life. See? There are reasons the code is written how it is. Since there were several friends who responded the same way, it must be that the code says that if your girlfriend does something like that, the guy shouldn't tell you until after you break up, especially if you are a good friend. Since it is obviously in The Guy Code, I can accept that it happened that way. In the future I would much rather the guy friend not take her up on the offer and tell me about it right away. I'm likely to tell them to go ahead and do it too. I simply do not tolerate the games girls play anymore. My guy friends know this and I'm sure it would play out differently if it were done again. What would happen to her as a result? My day would go on as if it didn't happen for a time. The planning of a painless break-up perhaps, or maybe a careful discussion about non-monogamous relationships I suppose would follow. This is so extra hilarious that it all happened this way too because I started my relationship telling her that I wanted a non-monogamous relationship and she convinced me to be monogamous with her very quickly. Well, in the words of the heroes of G.I. Joe, Knowing is half the battle.

-Aaron