How to dye hair

Over the years, many people have come to me for advice on dying hair. I am not really sure why, but I hear it involves something about my plush, vibrant mane. I have decided to post instructions.

A nice vibrant color requires that the hair be bleached. If no bleach is used, the gelatin based dye will wash right out in three days and it will look like crap. Ammonia based dye (like black) is the only one that does not require bleach, and even then it works better with than without. What you need to do is go to a beauty supply shop and get a few things:

1) Powder bleach. It can come in packets for about $3. Don't get the kind that claims to dye and bleach in one step. It does neither.
2) Peroxide creme catalyst, 40 strength. $6
3) Dye. Special Effects brand is the best I have tried. $12
4) Latex gloves. Ask and they'll probably give you a pair for free.
5) Vaseline
6) Shower cap

Before starting, pick up the floor towel and anything else near that might be destroyed from bleach or dye. Newspaper might be a good idea for the floor and sink. It is also time to designate a "dye shirt" and "dye towel" and "dye pillow case". These brave soldiers will never make it out alive. It is also best to do this on a Friday night or Saturday morning. Two days time will be enough to push all of the dye out of the scalp in time for school or work Monday morning.

The peroxide and bleach you mix together 1 to 1 and just goop onto the hair with gloves on. Leave about 20 minutes. It is a little tingly/itchy/irritating to the scalp, the same as lemon juice might feel, but should subside after it is rinsed out. The point of this is to cause damage to the hair in addition to removing color. The damage will leave the hair porous so it will take dye. Rinse only, no shampoo or you risk reducing the porousness of the hair. Now rub Vaseline around the edge of the scalp. This will reduce the amount of dye that is visible on the scalp after dying. Be careful not to get it on the hair or that part won't dye. Now with gloves on, goop the dye onto the hair. You can use a brush, comb or just hands to apply. After it's all on, nice and thick so the hair is caked to the head, get a shower cap on and the towel over the shower cap. Reason? You'll get dye EVERYWHERE. I sometimes skip this, but I also mess up and get in on things. Leave it in for over an hour, smoosh it around inside the shower cap or with gloves a couple times during that time.

If dye falls on the linoleum floor, tub or the counter, don't get too worked up about it. It will fade with time even without cleaning/scrubbing. Using some of the leftover bleach/peroxide solution will make quick work of it as well.

There, now go dye with honor my brave friends!

-Aaron