Letterboxing!

Okay, so if you have come within 10 feet of me, you know what I am talking about already because I have forced the information on you in a most obnoxious manner. If you have not, I will summarize by telling you this is my new hobby and if you want to know more about it, go here. With this addition to my life, I truly now have earned the title of "pirate". Work? Work is great. I am learning crap at an unbelievable pace. JDBC, Servlets, JSP, Java Beans, jFreeCharts. Yeah, that was over the course of 7 days. I know it's geek talk, but for me it is exciting because when I was in the C++ world and past that in the world of lesser evils, there was no more. There was a limit on the methods to leverage my knowledge. Not to say that these other technologies don't have their place. Just recently a friend asked me to make him a GUI application for moving files around in a batch. Probably the best way to do it would be perl, though the easiest way for the end user to use it would be a GUI windows app and I chose Delphi to make it. Is Java better? Maybe in a crapload of ways, but is it faster for me to make? No. Maybe it will be someday.

I know at this point you all are developing symptoms of the MEGO complex (my eyes glazed over) and I will grant you reprieve in just a moment. I must at this point relate to you one aspect of my life that I feel is imperative to impart on those who care enough to read this. Here is my scariest secret: From the moment I have been employed, in every job I have taken, I have not known the most core and basic skill required to do my job at the initial time of employment. What I mean by that is I don't have a college degree. I have never been trained to program. I don't know math. I don't know anything. Well, that's not really true I guess, I know a lot now. Let me rephrase... College never taught me anything that I needed to know to perform my job, and every skill I currently have I learned while working. Yes, that is accurate. I wonder how common this is. I wonder in fact how common it is for college graduates to enter into the workplace, diploma in hand and tell themselves, "Wow, everything I learned means nothing." I have met college graduates who are absolutely worthless and it begs the question, "What is a diploma worth?" Well, you know they can read and write basically. At the same time I take on a new job and some of the minds I work with just blind me. The amount they know over time becomes clear, but only to the point of understanding their terminology, not to the point of being able to provide valuable input, and that really bothers me. It makes me wonder if this is what I sacrificed crawling around in the dirt and firing blanks at an empty battlefield for four years. Coming home and seeing my sister in her cap and gown and knowing that I was on my own from that point on. Okay, so I do my best. I learn lightning fast! It's all I can do. Nobody knows that while they are explaining things to me, I am busy trying to absorb ten concepts that I had no idea existed. Nobody knows that my very existence hinges on every day I work to prove myself in a world that is by all rights beyond me.

Well, let's put all that behind me for now, it was really just an attempt at venting... I guess. To be honest I'm on top of the world right now. I wake up with a beaming smile and come home from work wearing the same mug. I learn so many new things every day, it is as if it will never end and nobody is stopping me, I have nothing but support. I have a new hobby, my life is changing in many, many ways, I have even met someone. A very new friend and she makes me smile every time I talk to her. Things are happening and I have never felt better. Thank you all, my friends who have been there through it all. Those who were there to lean on, those who lent an ear, those who pulled me out of oblivion just in the nick of time (namely Erik, my father, Jeff and Jayson), and most of all to everyone who let me know they care enough to help me. Thank you all so much.

That's all I have for now. Travel well and may the next hill be greener.